How To Properly Celebrate Business Milestones

A couple of weeks ago I received an email from my dad. It contained parking information for something called the "OAKLEY $1 BILLION PARKING INFORMATION." Being intrigued by a billion of anything, (Money does not drive all my interests. I would also be intrigued by a billion houses built by Habitat for Humanity or a billion stalks of asparagus. Their respective resale values would probably intrigue me most.) I immediately replied asking about this "$1 BILLION PARKING." The conversation went something like this:

Dad: "Tank runs through a trailer. There will be video."

Dust: "Can anyone go to this?"

Dad: "Anyone who is my friend"

Apparently, the brass at Oakley decided that the best way to celebrate reaching a billion dollars in sales was to drive a tank through a trailer, the kind people live in. If you struggle to see any logical connection then you should probably not sell sunglasses. There is no logic to the sunglass business. No person would logically connect a pair of sunglasses with a $400 price tag unless they are running a high fever. Purchasing sunglasses is an emotional decision based entirely on what you think other people will think of you. I think... (Of course I can say this because I have never purchased a pair of sunglasses. Either that or I have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. That is a fine distinction in my world.)

My initial reaction was to dismiss it as a tomfoolery and concentrate on the substantial amount of work left for the day. However, I thought my boss would be amused so I went to tell him. The conversation went something like this:

Dust: "Hey, Dirk..."

Dirk: "Hmmm..."

Dust: "Our office is pretty boring..."

Dirk: "What makes you say that..." (Perplexed expression on his face wondering why on earth someone would say such a thing to the man who signs his paycheck.)

Dust: "Well, at Oakley they are going to drive a tank through a trailer."

Dirk: "If that is the standard, then I suppose this is a pretty boring office."

Dust: "If I can procure a tank, a trailer, and an excuse, can we also crash a tank through a trailer in the parking lot?"

Dirk: "You bet."

I returned to work. But, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I have never seen a tank drive through a trailer. I might not have another chance to see such a spectacle. My sister called and asked if I was going. I said I didn't know.

Maybe it was my love for machines that can drive through or over almost anything. Maybe it was my disdain for the American lower classes and their affordable dwellings. Probably a little bit of both. I decided to go.

The actual event was underwhemling. The tank was small. The crushing of the trailer was not particularly spectacular. But at least now I can say I have seen it. Here are a few pictures: