Birthdays

I am not a big fan of birthdays, at least not mine. I don't really get what all the fuss is about. However, for the other 364 days of the year, it's kind of fun to look at who shares your birthday and what happened on that day through the years. Here is what I found. I've tried to include a pretty good variety of material.

My birthday shall remain unspecified, but patently obvious to anyone who bothered to click the link. Other than being the most depressing day of 2007 (seriously, click on the link), my birthday was the 117th anniversary of the United Mine Workers of America. Wait, it gets better! It was also the day that Spain ceded the Falkland Islands to England. A day well-celebrated by both of the families who live there today. In 1905, a Russian revolution was sparked by "Bloody Sunday". (Not to be confused with the Bloody Sunday that U2 sang about. That was January 30. I'm glad I wasn't born on that day.) In 1917, President Wilson called for "peace without victory" to end WWI. We all know how that turned out. In 1973, the US Supreme Court delivered the opinion in Roe v. Wade. Thank you Justice Blackmun. Ted Kaczynski, the Unabomber, plead guilty for the murder of 3 people.

On the lighter side, LA's channel 5 KTLA started broadcasting as the first commercial television station west of the Mississippi. In 1973, George Foreman gave Joe Frazier his first loss causing Howard Cosell to yell: "Down goes Frazier, down goes Frazier!" One of the greatest exclamations in sport.

Who shares my birthday?
- Linda Blair, she played the possessed girl in The Exorcist
- Sir Francis Bacon, philosopher and an important part of a hearty breakfast
- Lord Byron, the romantic poet. This one is for the ladies.
- Grigori Rasputin, the Russian peasant/psychic/screenwriter who inadvertently hastened the introduction of communism to Russia. Thanks a lot, boyo!
- DW Griffith, the first truly famous American film director. His first hit glorified the KKK.
- Justice Fred Vinson, Supreme Court Justice. Known as one of the weaker intellects to sit on the Court. At least that was what my Constitutional law professor said.
- Sam Cooke, singer of "You Send Me" and "Chain Gang"
- Marcel Dassault, a great aircraft pioneer. I forgive him for being French.
- Jeff Smith, TV chef nicknamed The Frugal Gourmet and former neighbor of my parents.
- The Right Honorable Ramsay MacDonald was not born. But he did become Prime Minister of Great Britain on this day. Winston Churchill said of him: "He has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest number of words into the smallest amount of thought." Ask me Winston Churchill's quote about the traditions of the British Navy.
- John Hurt, creepy English actor. He played the Elephant Man, John Merrick.
-DJ Jazzy Jeff, former celebrity and partner of Will Smith

Unfortunately some people die on this day too:
- Queen Victoria in 1901 after a 63 year reign
- Mike Hawthorn, World Driving Champion in 1958 with Ferrari. Ironically, he died in a street car accident.
- Duke Kahanamoku,The Big Kahuna himself
- Lyndon Baines Johnson, President, but not a very good one.
- Budd Dwyer, politician who shot himself at a press conference he called. He was about to be sentenced on corruption charges.
- Telly Savales, Kojak.

I guess its not such a bad day. I just don't like it being about me.

Below is a video clip of the Foreman/Frazier fight. George Foreman later became known for other achievements including:
- A complete lack of creativity in naming his male children
- Spokesman for Meineke Mufflers
- A popular kitchen appliance that should NOT be used to cook bacon bedside.

You will not hear Howard Cosell's famous line because that footage doesn't get on Youtube. You get a different announcer. Foreman in red and Frazier in white. Frazier was known as a slow starter in fights but it quickly became apparent that this bout would end badly for Smokin' Joe.

Passive-agressivism

I love small cars. Partly because I own one and partly because they have certain advantages. One of the largest advantages is parking. I can park pretty much anywhere.

This morning I was rushing to Church for the morning meeting and the only space in my preferred area was between a properly parked minivan and a large sport utility that only could have been parked by an escaped mental patient rushing to knock over a 7-11. There was very little room but I took it anyway. While there was very little room on both sides, I chose to leave as much room as I could for the minivan. After the meeting I had to go home to fetch something at home. As I left I saw a few acquaintances in the hall and, as is my custom, chatted with them. I mentioned what I did and my friend Deron and I agreed to do that on purpose when there are plenty of spaces around would be a very passive-aggressive thing to do. We laughed and I left.

As I returned I saw my friend Matt's car in the parking lot and I parked next to it. There were plenty of spaces but I chose the one on his driver's side. As I stopped the car I thought: I'm really a passive-aggressive person and I should really embrace this terrible character flaw. I backed out and got as close to Matt's car as possible making sure there was no way a human could access the driver's door. I have nothing against Matt. No one is more kind to me. He is one of my very best friends. But that does not provide immunity.

After sacrament meeting he found me and demanded I move my car. I offered to let him move it but this was a hollow offer because he can't drive a car equipped with a manual transmission. I suggested he just climb in the passenger's side. I guess he's not that limber. He must have demanded I move my 8 or 9 times during the 3 hour block. Each time I refused and laughed maniacally. I have never received so much pride or pleasure from such a small act of utter contempt for my fellow man. Passive-aggressiveness is just plain fun.

Some other passive-aggressive activities I enjoy:
- Speeding up when someone uses their blinker to signal a lane change in front of you.

- Standing while reading a magazine in the most popular aisle of the magazine section at Borders so others can't get to the rack they want.

- Intentionally changing the TV channel to something others in the room will surely hate. For some reason everyone I know hates the History Channel. For the populace at large, Lifetime is a sure bet.

- Leaving a very small tip after profusely thanking your waiter for the wonderful service.

- Standing right next to the outlet of the airport baggage claim so when their bags come out, people have to maneuver around you further down the line to get their suitcase. (The proper thing to do is stand a few steps back and only get right up to it when you suspect its your bag.)

- Slot in front of that guy, no matter how little room there is, and pull your bag off the carousel forcing him to move. Be sure to say "Excuse me" with the toothiest grin you can muster.

- And, perhaps the most passive-aggressive thing to do: Drive slowly in the left lane on the freeway. To me this indicates a level of malice that approaches serial killers. I bet Ted Bundy drove like that.

BYU: You didn't used to be cool man.

I did not always think that. In fact, I found it to be a rather uncool and uncomfortable institution. The campus was constantly marred by construction projects and crowds between classes. I'm pretty sure that I would have been more comfortable doing 20 to life in Folsom than 90 minutes in the MARB. Of course, there were good parts. It was academically challenging. Some of my professors were truly great. My particular favorites were Fred Williams, Kit Lund, and Stan Taylor. But this doesn't make it cool as an institution.

That said, my opinion changed slightly this week. I got an email from my cousin John. He is one of the most fascinating people I know and possesses a bit of a wandering spirit. For 15 years he has only had 3 credits to complete to graduate. This week he called BYU to see about finishing. After explaining his situation, the person on the other end of the phone said: "Oh, we sent you a letter four years ago but it came back. We changed our policy. You're done. Would you like to graduate in June or in August?"

Cool... but not that cool? Let me provide some context. My father left Cal State Long Beach in the 1970's with 3 credits to go. Encouraged by Steven Spielberg's return to the same institution (and the fact that his employer would pay tuition), my father determined to go back to school. The first thing he learned was that after 10 years, your credits expire and you have to either do it over or have your credits recertified by the particular department. It took him 2 years to get to the point where he could finally start taking classes. In one case, a head of department refused to recertify his credits. What did he do? He waited until the guy was replaced and went to the new guy. It then took him another 2 years to complete the coursework. He finally graduated 40 years after he started college. The fact of the graduation was cool, but the institution was decidedly uncool.

Did Mr. Spielberg have to go through the red tape? Of course not. They gave him credit for his work experience. (They refused to do this for my father even though he presented ample evidence.) That's right, Schindler's List was considered one of his student projects. Of course in some ways it was a typical student project. With a budget of $25 million, box office receipts of $317 million worldwide, and 7 Academy Awards it was obviously just a learning experience. Let's just hope he does better in the real world.

Malcolm McDowell frightens me

Malcolm McDowell is undoubtedly a highly talented actor. He has worked with such acclaimed directors as Stanley Kubrick and Robert Altman. He currently appears in a show on the peacock network about people who possess special powers and do heroic things. The name of the show escapes me.

You'd think that seeing him in person would be an exciting, even pleasant experience. Surprisingly, it was rather disturbing. In August of 2002, I went with my father, my friend Brandt, and his father Jon to the Monterey car weekend. Friday was the Concorso Italiano in Carmel and we went to see more Ferraris, Lamborghinis, and de Tamasos than you can shake a sizable stick at. While walking along in the beautiful sunshine viewing a selection of Ferraris my friend Brandt elbowed me. "Do you know who that is? It's Malcolm McDowell!" He pointed to an elderly gentleman. It was indeed the actor. He was appearing in a revival of Fantasy Island so everyone knew who he was. He was sort of odd-looking. He had spiky white hair. His feet were shod in bright red Nikes. He wore shorts much shorter than any man over 60 has a right to wear.

My friend Brandt was much more impressed than I. (The next day we saw Phil Hill. Can you believe it? Phil Hill!) We moved on to view more fine automobiles. After a few minutes, I turned to my right and saw Malcolm McDowell again. Standing right next to me! This was a bit shocking but I quickly recovered and we continued. A few minutes later, it happened again. A few more minutes passed and he appeared next to us again! At this point I became concerned. Is he following us? What does he want? Why is he wearing those shorts? I don't believe in coincidences so I decided something must be done. We altered our route and lost him in a crowd. I cannot say what would have happened without this evasive action, but I prefer not to imagine the possibilities.

While most of us can say that we have stalked a celebrity, few can say that they were stalked by a celebrity. Fewer still can say it was Malcolm McDowell.

Why?!

Why did I decide to start a blog? Well, to be honest I have real work to do that is boring me to sobs and I cannot find any more distractions. I have been thinking about it for a long time because I spend way too much time just thinking. I carefully considered the probability that I would make a valuable contribution to society versus the probability that I would not just be wasting time and bandwidth but actually hastening the destruction of mankind. And ... I went ahead anyway.

What do I hope to get out of this new endeavor? Nothing. What do I hope you get out of this? Slightly more. How do I plan to achieve this goal? Well, in my daily life I seem to act natural and serious and people laugh hysterically. Case in point: I was teaching a Sunday School class last week and I made a comment about my long-deceased great, great, great grandfather leaving the old country. The whole room erupted in laughter. At first I thought everyone else had some sort of mental illness. I searched the DSM-IV-TR but could find no disorder whose only symptom is inappropriate laughter. While I haven't ruled out everyone else being crazy, I think it might be something about me. We shall see. If you know of any such malady, post a comment.